Best Ways to Find a Third Person for a Threesome Easily

Written by Flirtini team

05/02/2025

So you and your partner are looking for a 3rd to add some spice to the mix? This post will help you get through the process with respect, clarity, and a lot of fun, whether you're new to having a threesome or just want to get better at it.

We'll cover everything from the basics (like what unicorn hunting really means) to practical tips on where and how to meet people who are into CNM (consensually non-monogamous) arrangements. Flirtini is the best threesome app out there if you want to meet with singles and couples who share your interests in the easiest and most effective way. But more on that later.

Are you ready? Let's get started.

Before You Begin: Start with an Honest Couples' Conversation

Jumping into a threesome without first talking to each other is like putting together Ikea furniture without the instructions—messy and stressful. Here are some key questions to talk about as a couple:

Why do we want to try having a threesome? Is it mutual curiosity, fantasy fulfillment, or something else?
What do both of us feel good about? Boundaries are important. What are our hard limits? Are there specific acts or scenarios that are off the table? Are we open to solo play, or should everything be group-only?
What do we want to do? Is it a one-time thing, or are we looking into a longer-term throuple dynamic?
How are we going to deal with jealousy? Feelings can come up in even the most secure relationship.

Open communication prevents misunderstandings later. If one partner feels pressured, it's better to pause and revisit the conversation—especially if you're new to CNM (consensually non-monogamous) dynamics.

Flirtini's poll found that a whopping 70% of those who have tried CNM believe society will move away from exclusivity sooner rather than later. So, we say, give it a try… or how will you know if you love it or not?

What's a Unicorn (And Why Is Unicorn Hunting Controversial)?

You've probably heard of the word "unicorn" in the poly community. A "unicorn" is a single, usually bisexual person (often a woman) who is willing to join a couple. So what's the problem? A lot of couples looking for a third person treat this person like a fantasy prop instead of a real human with their own wants and needs.

Unicorn hunting gets a bad rap when:

The couple expects that the third person will cater only to their needs.
The third person's boundaries or emotional well-being are not taken into account.

Someone on Reddit said, "Being a unicorn isn't about playing a part. It's about having fun—on equal terms."

How to Respectfully Find a Third for a Threesome

One helpful hint: A survey by Flirtini found that 52% of people looking for a threesome do it because they're longing for more sex or more diverse sex. 25%, on the other hand, love the feeling of extra romance that a threesome offers.

So, no matter if your motivating factor is more sex or more romance, here are a few tips from the experts about how to go about finding your perfect third:

Be Upfront About What You Want: It's not fun to be surprised. If you're a couple and looking for a 3rd, say so in your dating profiles or conversations. Being honest saves time and makes things less awkward.
Don't Treat Them Like a Third Wheel: A threesome isn't a spectator sport. Make sure threesome partner feels wanted, included, and important. They're not there just to fulfill your fantasy; their desires matter, too.
Discuss Expectations Beforehand: Will this be a one-time thing? Are certain acts off-limits?

Decide on the Type of Third Partner You Want

Are you looking for a stranger, a friend, or a recurring play partner? Each has pros and cons:

Strangers (e.g., from a threesome site like Flirtini.com): Lower emotional risk but may require a bit of searching.
Friends: More comfort and trust, but could complicate the friendship if feelings arise (and may feel like unicorn hunting if not approached carefully).
Regular play partners or a potential throuple: Builds familiarity but requires clear expectations about exclusivity (or lack thereof).

Where to Look for a Threesome Partner

Online Options

Make Use of the Right Platform: Generic dating sites can be hit-or-miss. Flirtini is hands down the best choice for couples looking for a third or singles open to group play. This is the best way to find a girl for a threesome or meet Bisexual men dating in your area. It has advanced search filters, verified accounts, and a sex-positive community.
Poly forums: Reddit's r/nonmonogamy and r/threesomeadvice are good places to find poly groups. However, you have to be careful about who you're dealing with, which is why Flirtini wins, as we said, "hands down," with its verified profiles and safety policies in place.
Kink communities: These aren't just for BDSM; these are also a great place to meet people who are willing to play with others. Disclaimer: just like above, take it with a pinch of salt, as people online are not always who they seem. Do Firtini instead; be safe.

Offline Options

Swinger clubs: Swinger clubs are low-stress environments that you can explore with good results.
LGBTQ+ bars: It's best to go to LGBTQ+ bars if you want to find a girl for a threesome (just don't be creepy about it).

Why Flirtini is the Best Way to Find a Threesome Partner

If you're serious about having a threesome, you need a platform that actually works—not just another dating app where people ghost or flake. Here's why Flirtini stands out:

Designed for Open-Minded Dating: Flirtini is not like other apps because it is designed for people who are interested in CNM, threesomes, and casual group play. There are no judgments, just singles, and couples who want to meet up with each other.
Advanced Matching Filters: Want to date a bisexual girl or, a gay man or a couple? Or a unicorn who's into both of you? You can get exactly what you want on Flirtini with its settings, so you don't have to waste time on people who aren't a good fit.
Verified Profiles, Real People: No bots, no catfishing. Flirtini verifies all of its users to make sure you're talking to real people who want to meet up.
Safe & Discreet: Privacy is important, especially when you're living out your fantasies. You can choose who can see your profile on Flirtini and keep your information secure.
Highest Success Rate: Users say that Flirtini has a much better vibe and a user-friendly interface than other threesome apps. That means you should play more and chat less.

Why Flirtini Users Think It's the Best Threesome-Finding Platform Ever

Flirtini has earned a stellar reputation as the go-to platform for couples and singles looking to have threesomes because it is easy to use, has advanced matching algorithms, and respects users' privacy. Users rave about how effortlessly the platform connects like-minded individuals, making it easier than ever to explore fantasies in a safe, judgment-free space.

Testimonials from Happy Users:

"Flirtini changed the game for us! As a couple looking for a third, we struggled on other apps, but Flirtini's verification system and detailed profiles made finding the perfect match so simple. 10/10!" – Jake & Mia

"At first, I was nervous, but Flirtini's community of discreet and respectful people made me feel at ease. Within days, I found a wonderful couple!" – Sarah

"Best site for open-minded fun. The chat works smoothly, and the efficient filters help you find people who want the same things as you. Don't have to guess in a weird way!" – Ryan

With glowing reviews like these, it's no wonder Flirtini is considered the best threesome-finding platform—where fantasy meets reality effortlessly.

Final Tips for a Smooth Experience

Trying out threesomes can be a fun way to spice up your dating life, whether you're already in a CNM relationship, looking for a 3rd, or just interested in playing with a group. Couples looking for a third partner must be honest, respectful, and communicate clearly. It doesn't matter if some relationships turn into a deeper throuple dynamic or stay casual; what matters is that everyone feels safe and valued. If you want to meet people who are open to these kinds of experiences, Flirtini offers a private and welcoming place to meet people who share your interests, including those in the poly community.

Are you ready to find your third? Don't waste time on apps that don't understand you. Flirtini is the easiest, fastest, and safest way to meet your third partner. Here are some parting tips from our experts.

During the encounter:

Prioritize consent and comfort. Check in regularly. Even if everyone seemed enthusiastic beforehand, feelings can shift in the moment.
Avoid "couple's privilege." Don't exclude the third person—make sure they feel included and valued.
Go at their speed. Your third may not be as experienced as you are.
Be prepared to stop if needed. If anyone seems uncomfortable, pause and reassess.

After the encounter:

Talk about it: What worked? What didn't?
Be kind if it's a one-time thing. If the third isn't interested in repeating, respect that.
Maintain normalcy if it's a friend. Don't let things get awkward—treat them the same as before unless they express otherwise.
Don't get too serious; this is meant to be fun.

The most important things are honesty, consent, and enthusiasm, whether you're thinking about having a threesome for fun or changing the way your relationship works. Would you try a threesome? What concerns or tips would you add? Let us know in the comments!

Join Flirtini today— your perfect threesome partner is waiting. Your next adventure starts here.

Final thought: Threesomes can be fun and fulfilling if done ethically, but respect is the real turn-on. And with Flirtini, you'll find partners who 'get' that. Happy hunting!