Should You FaceTime Someone Before Going on a Date?

Meeting someone you’ve connected with online can be nerve wracking and bring up all sorts of questions: Are they really who they say they are? Are they actually going to look like their pictures? Is their personality going to be as witty and funny IRL as they are in texts?

One way to answer some of these questions before meeting for a first date is to have a FaceTime call. Here’s why I recommend doing just that:

Catch the whole vibe

A regular phone call will allow you to hear someone’s voice and laughter and find out if you have conversational chemistry. A FaceTime call will allow you to do all that plus you’ll get more of a sense of how they relate via their facial expressions and whether or not they look like their pictures. If the conversation goes well, you’ll both be even more excited for the first date. And if it doesn’t go well, you can politely decline the date and not commit any more time or energy to someone who isn’t a good match.

Don’t fall into the pen-pal trap

The whole purpose of online dating (as the name suggests) is to connect online and go on dates. You want to avoid having a long-standing text conversation. If you find yourself telling a friend “we’ve been texting all day every day for two weeks,” there’s a problem. Some people online are just there for a distraction or need something to do to occupy time and they don’t have actual intentions of ever going on a date. Requesting a FaceTime as soon as possible will eliminate time-wasters.

Avoid future-tripping

I’d also recommend having a FaceTime call soon after you connect to avoid fantasizing about something that doesn't exist. When we spend time getting to know someone through messaging, we naturally start to develop a story in our mind about who they are and what it would be like to date them. The problem is that if you’ve never actually met them, the storylines you create are not based in reality. When you finally do meet them, you may realize that they don’t live up to the image of them you created in your mind and feel disappointment. It’s better to meet someone as soon as you can so that you get to know who they truly are and form your opinions and decisions around their actual personality.

To sum it up, having a FaceTime first will allow you to determine if you want to meet up IRL. If you do, you’ll get even more excited about it! If you don’t, you’ll save time and energy. So don’t be shy and turn that camera on!